dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
barbara walters just said penis...
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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