Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize