Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
