I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize