in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize