The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
