Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
