Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
