How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
