He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
