Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
