Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
