Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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