You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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