There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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