the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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