I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
