The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
