i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
