You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
