i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
