is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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