Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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