no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
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