Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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