Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
