You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
