When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
