I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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