Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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