people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
