it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
