how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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