So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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