Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize