So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
