hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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