im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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