i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
This is the high leading the old right now
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
