there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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