Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
