I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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