Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
