so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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