dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
