S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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