Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
and you fell through a lawn chair
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
