This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
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