Your tits are I can't wait for
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize