I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize