Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Sorry about my life...
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
