Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize