Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
