Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
