dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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