So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
The feeling are messing with the penis
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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