All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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