She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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