i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
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