first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I'm passing your future prison.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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