i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
