i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
