dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
