White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
